This Love, This Hate by Hollywood Undead
In a time of need only few can see what's wrong
millions tend to crawl but only those who choose can make it through this all,
only few can sing like lions 'cause we sing until we're gone
and we've got each others backs until we're back where we belong,
a woman held my shield and through the battle we did wrong,
a man who taught me wisdom through the static we recall,
and maybe when we' re gone our names will echo through the stars,
every start's got it's ending even when we've learned to rise above it all,

These lies are leading me astray its too much for me to stay
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly

I see you so please stay strong
I'll sing you one last song and then I'm gone
I don't wanna live this destiny it goes on endlessly

And we once also had a story too
you can see that good men only come in few.
Even in our greatest moments we may win or we may lose
every song's got it's rules, you've got to learn to make it through.
Maybe one day we can choose how it feels to be a woman or a man
without rules but burried underneath there's a picture glued.
So when my body burns in ashes only sing the truth
Let these words strengthen all your views
because these words were meant for you


An' now I'm floatin' right above my coffin as it closes I look down
I see sigh as she's cryin on my moma's shoulder.
I look up into the sky as the gates to heaven open somethin's wrong
is this destiny or am I goin' home,
what will happen to my soul will I come back I don't know,
will you meet me when its over let me know,
You can meet me here in heaven don't you ever let me go

This love this hate is burning me away


This love this hate is burning me away

It was last minute done and been hastily planned. But it went pretty well... i dont care, I'm there coz I missed my fellow schoolmates! It so good to meet them back after so many years!!!

Its funny though we're bunch 23 years old people there, but it felt like highschool again where we crack some stupid crazy jokes, crappy stories and act like one.

It had been 24 hours, and I still miss these kids!!! I had a pure good time yesterday, and I can live with this everyday. Why on earth did I changed school last time? Damn.

Got this from Wired.Com. Its true, even myself couldnt find most of these stuff. Yikes~!

There are some things in this world that will never be forgotten, this week’s 40th anniversary of the moon landing for one. But Moore’s Law and our ever-increasing quest for simpler, smaller, faster and better widgets and thingamabobs will always ensure that some of the technology we grew up with will not be passed down the line to the next generation of geeks.

That is, of course, unless we tell them all about the good old days of modems and typewriters, slide rules and encyclopedias …

Audio Visual Entertainment

  1. Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something.
  2. Super-8 movies and cine film of all kinds.
  3. Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. See what happens when you give a Walkman to today's teenager.
  4. The number of TV channels being a single digit. I remember it being a massive event when Britain got its fourth channel.
  5. Standard-definition, CRT TVs filling up half your living room.
  6. Rotary dial televisions with no remote control. You know, the ones where the kids were the remote control.
  7. High-speed dubbing.
  8. 8-track cartridges.
  9. Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD.
  10. Betamax tapes.
  11. MiniDisc.
  12. Laserdisc: the LP of DVD.
  13. Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. (Digital tuners + HD radio b0rk this concept.)
  14. Shortwave radio.
  15. 3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses.
  16. Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one.
  17. That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’

  18. Computers and Videogaming

  1. Wires. OK, so they’re not gone yet, but it won’t be long
  2. The scream of a modem connecting.
  3. The buzz of a dot-matrix printer
  4. 5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage.
  5. Using jumpers to set IRQs.
  6. DOS.
  7. Terminals accessing the mainframe.
  8. Screens being just green (or orange) on black.
  9. Tweaking the volume setting on your tape deck to get a computer game to load, and waiting ages for it to actually do it.
  10. Daisy chaining your SCSI devices and making sure they’ve all got a different ID.
  11. Counting in kilobytes.
  12. Wondering if you can afford to buy a RAM upgrade.
  13. Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time.
  14. Turning a PlayStation on its end to try and get a game to load.
  15. Joysticks.
  16. Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive.
  17. Booting your computer off of a floppy disk.
  18. Recording a song in a studio.
The Internet
  1. NCSA mosaic.
  2. Finding out information from an encyclopedia.
  3. Using a road atlas to get from A to B.
  4. Doing bank business only when the bank is open.
  5. Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.
  6. Phone books and Yellow Pages.
  7. Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees.
  8. Actually being able to get a domain name consisting of real words.
  9. Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it.
  10. Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.
  11. Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind.
  12. Archie searches.
  13. Gopher searches.
  14. Concatenating and UUDecoding binaries from Usenet.
  15. Privacy.
  16. The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.
  17. Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs.
  18. Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.
  19. The time before botnets/security vulnerabilities due to always-on and always-connected PCs
  20. The time before PC networks.
  21. When Spam was just a meat product — or even a Monty Python Sketch.

  1. Typewriters
  2. Putting film in your camera: 35mm may have some life still, but what about APS or disk?
  3. Sending that film away to be processed.
  4. Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.
  5. CB radios.
  6. Getting lost. With GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away.
  7. Rotary-dial telephones.
  8. Answering machines.
  9. Using a stick to point at information on a wallchart
  10. Pay phones.
  11. Phones with actual bells in them.
  12. Fax machines.
  13. Vacuum cleaners with bags in them.
Everything else

  1. Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive.
  2. Remembering someone’s phone number.
  3. Not knowing who was calling you on the phone.
  4. Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie.
  5. Toys actually being suitable for the under-3s.
  6. LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door.
  7. Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater.
  8. Relying on the 5-minute sport segment on the nightly news for baseball highlights.
  9. Neat handwriting.
  10. The days before the nanny state.
  11. Starbuck being a man.
  12. Han shoots first.
  13. “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.” But they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise.
  14. Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC.
  15. Trig tables and log tables.
  16. “Don’t know what a slide rule is for …”
  17. Finding books in a card catalog at the library.
  18. Swimming pools with diving boards.
  19. Hershey bars in silver wrappers.
  20. Sliding the paper outer wrapper off a Kit-Kat, placing it on the palm of your hand and clapping to make it bang loudly. Then sliding your finger down the silver foil to break off the first finger
  21. A Marathon bar (what a Snickers used to be called in Britain).
  22. Having to manually unlock a car door.
  23. Writing a check.
  24. Looking out the window during a long drive.
  25. Roller skates, as opposed to blades.
  26. Cash.
  27. Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.
  28. Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall.
  29. Omni Magazine
  30. A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.
  31. When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.
Thanks to Geek Dad and Nathan Barry to list it all out. =)

A tak nak pergi if B tak pergi
B tak nak pergi if C tak pergi
C tak nak pergi if D tak pergi
D tak nak pergi if E tak pergi
E tak nak pergi if F tak pergi
F tak nak pergi if G tak pergi
G tak nak pergi if H tak pergi
H tak nak pergi if I tak pergi
I tak nak pergi if J tak pergi
J tak nak pergi if K tak pergi
K tak nak pergi if L tak pergi
L tak nak pergi if M tak pergi
M tak nak pergi if N tak pergi
N tak nak pergi if O tak pergi
O tak nak pergi if P tak pergi
P tak nak pergi if Q tak pergi
Q tak nak pergi if R tak pergi
R tak nak pergi if S tak pergi
S tak nak pergi if T tak pergi
T tak nak pergi if U tak pergi
U tak nak pergi if V tak pergi
V tak nak pergi if W tak pergi
W tak nak pergi if X tak pergi
X tak nak pergi if Y tak pergi
Y tak nak pergi if Z tak pergi
Z tak nak pergi if ...

Dah... dah.. abeh tu smua org tak payah pergi la macam tu! I dont know whats the deal with these human beings yang takde pendirian macam ni. What on earth are these people still doing in this planet? Zaman macam ni pon ada manusia mcm ni lagi ke? I mean come on la... we're independent. Kita dah merdeka dekat nak 52 tahun pun... still wants to let other people dictate our mind and our decisions? Oh puh-lease~!

I have to admit I am very angry with this kind of homosapiens... the most sempoi word to describe to these people is... PEROSAK SEGALA PLAN.

For God sake... Free Your Mind~!

This post I dedicate to Farid... hahaha for his curiosity.

So... the other day I accidentally poured a boiling water onto my thumb and I was screaming like hell in the kitchen. After put my thumb in running water, I went to the living room and showed my mom and she said "haih, macam la tak biasa kena... suck it up". haha, thank you very much for your sympathy.

The next day to my surprise the thumb went bloated like a water balloon. Haha, and its squishy... like an external water balloon planted onto my thumb, what not to love? That night I've decided to poke with a sterilize needle because I thought the water balloon brings abit disturbing feelings to my peace. It soothe a little bit.

I woke up the next morning and the thumb bloated again. =.=" Haih... so I went to work as per usual. Later that day I had just came back from a wash room and decided to resume my work, which put me a lil bit on hold because I accidentally bump the thumb with my other hand and it burst flooding my table with the clear liquid. Owhkay, it was over exaggerated there... but it did burst, just minus the flood part. And the skin torn open revealing the flesh about half inch long. I ran to the wash room again to get a tissue, wash the wound and try to intact back my skin with my flesh. Good Lord the open wound was painful.

For the past 24 hour I'd been keeping this thumb dry, only once in awhile I wash with anticeptic. How ever as u can see, it is still swollen though. Just pray hard so this lil thumb will not get any infection.

I have an ugly thumb!


-In the mood of dissing people, pls excuse my mix language-

So... ada one area kat office yang buat aku malas giler nak dok, aku gelarkan... The Momsies Area. After quite sometime tak jejak sana, eventually smalam aku terpaksa gak dok sana coz kat office tu dah takde cubicle lain yang available memandangkan these days working hour aku start 10am.

The Momsies consist of 4 blardy biatches. Not worth to mention their names, nanti ada plak yang sabotage keje aku.

Actually masa mula-mula aku join that office, aku memang pandang tinggi ar kat Momsies ni.. coz they potrey as skillful workforce, knowledge diorang power and serba serbi diorang cam dasyat tahap dewa ar. And I always wanted to be taught by them, coz aku pikir aku nak jadi macam diorang. Tapi... keinginan aku tu tak brapa di-fullfill jugak la coz they seems reluctant to let me be their protege. Tapi aku heran, certain people elok la pulak depa layan.

After training, aku tak tahan dok dekat ngan TL... I've decided to moved in to The Momsies area, semata-mata nak amek ilmu daripada mereka. Lama jugak la aku menglocation kan diri kat situ... tapi... aku still rasa diorang tak ngam dengan aku. Aku pon tak tau apa issue diorang nie. Tapi tak kisah la.

One thing for sure, adat orang menuntut ilmu... aku ske bertanye. And I have to admit, this industry is so new for me.. therefore aku mmg a bit slow. (agak2 ar aku study apa dulu..!!) But to be honest, aku rasa most of the time aku dok area tu... aku rasa macam asyik kena marah je. Marah biasa2 aku ok ar, no hard feeling.. tapi the words yang kluar tu... macam sial je. At some point aku rasa diri aku di-downgrade gila-gila... imagine situation nie... at some point aku sendiri kena admit kat diorang yang aku ni BLUR/BODOH/BINGAI etc. And besides that, satu lagi ayat mmg aku tak bley lupa which they yelled to me out loud.. "awat blur sgt nie? kan akak dah ajar dulu? dah lupa? awat tak masuk otak nie? cuba la guna otak skit! tanam skit benda tu dalam otak... brapa kali nak akak ajar?!"Damn, sepanjang 23 years nie.. tak pernah aku di-downgrade camni. And of course... diorang peduli apa aku feel mcm mana. But at the end of the day... aku tak brapa nak kisah sgt ar.. itu personal issue aku dgn diorang je.

After awhile.. I moved to Island area (actually because ada org dok cubicle aku aritu) whereby aku tengok diorang ni happy je sentiasa. Btw, The Momsies ni slalu kutuk Island masa aku dok Momsies area dulu. So.. kirannye first impression aku kat Island nie teruk gak ar. But so far, to be honest aku lagi tenang dok sana.. aku lebih senang buat keje aku.. and I dont wake up feeling petrified everyday. Plus, when there are things that I need to refer... they tak marah-marah. They are willing to help me tak kira bila. They very humble, cheerful, teamwork, and yet very efficient in their work. Unlike bunch of those posers Momsies. I dont know, my life much easier there. Plus, when the area was almost full there and I try to find other places in the office.. they took care of me very well by reserving one of the place in the Island. Omg, I've never been taken care off like that in the office before... and I realize I'm in the good hand of these people, never been so secured like this.

Eventually, aku terpaksa dok kat Momsies area yesterday. I came with a clean heart, but tak sampai 1 hour kat situ aku dah jadi jiwa kacau balik. Awal-awal dah kena marah. Good Lord.. and the rest of the day aku rasa misreable kat situ. Thank Goodness there's IM so I can still chat with Haniff and Dayah, they are the source of my amusement for the whole day.

But suddenly, something came out from their mouth yang buat aku agak tersentak ar...
"Tengok Hidayah tu.. dok situ senyap-senyap... tak tanye orang pon. Macam kita je terkejar-kejar selama ni nak bertanya, elok sangat ke kerja budak tu...?"

"Elok la tak banyak soal, dari orang banyak kali tanye.. dah ajar banyak kali ajar pon tak masuk otak jugak, blur..."

And I was like... waddaheck? Dayah yang takde kena mengena ngan Momsies ni pon nak kena attack gak ke? Apa masalah diorang nie? So far... as I know la.. Dayah is in good shape there. She's refering to bunch of great people at her area. Yang Momsies nak kepochi sangat tu apahal? Bukannye dia pernah buat masalah pon. And... agak-agak ar nak buat commentaries... apa tak tau ke yg aku ngan Dayah nie goodfriend kat office? Argh.. terbakar jiwa aku ar camni.. aku tak kira kalo diorang nak attack aku coz mmg I have to admit I required loads of their attention jugak before this. But... Dayah? She have not communicate ever with the Momsies... so what's the deal between her and their lifes? Itu dah kira personal attack.

And still, I'm lying la kalo aku tak terasa langsung apa yang diorang kata for the 2nd commentary tu.

Aku pon heran why aku pandang tinggi sangat kat diorang dulu, I've reconsider now. Furthermore, they are much technical.. They might be good at their work, but at the same time.. kalo hati tak baik.. tak jalan jugak. But so far what I know, The Momsies nie mmg suka cari kesalahan orang lain, suka ngumpat orang lain, suka jeopardize other people's life. And mulut.. God knows!

So... there you are, my personal perception of the Momsies. Well, aku tak pernah luahkan this things to anyone.. cuma today I take it as exception since aku rasa ketensionan aku terhadap Momsies ni dah sampai ke tahap optimum.

May God bless this Momsies.

I came out with a theory while I was chatting with Tida awhile ago.

Its pretty simple to differentiate between someone u keep in your heart and someone u keep in your mind:

Someone in heart: u can describe them in thousand of words without full stop or intermission.
Someone in mind: u have to brainstorm a little bit, the first thing that popped in your mind are the person's flaws.

Someone in heart: ... because u speak from your heart.
Someone in mind: ... because u have to think with the 10% of your approx 1.4 kilo brain.

I woke up pretty early today, realizing i had sucha weird dream yesterday. Whats the deal between me and weird dreams? Hahha.. and hv u ever heard I called my dreams other than 'weird dreams' before?

Woke up early and I start to go to kitchen to chop some onions, chillies, mushroom, tomato, crack some eggs.. chop chop chop stir stir stir... and voila~! An omelet du fromage & fungi! What an ample breakfast to start a very good day.

After breakfast we get ready to go to Pavilion. The people there are not as much as other shopping complexes like Midvalley or One Utama or Pyramid... which is good because i wasnt in the mood to go into too cluttered space. My father was so in the mood for shopping and at the end of the day he's the one who shops alot! Me in the other hand have to reserve myself a bit due to my current economy crisis. Well, let just hope I could survive with RM200 for the next 3 weeks. Oh Lord~!

We had teppanyaki for lunch. Yumma~! As well known I'm allergic to bean sprout. Err... ok-ok, i confess. I'm not allergic to bean sprout, but I just hate it. The reason I'd been yapping on the allergic so other ppl cud cut the lecture part and just get on with their life and let me go with my own taugeh-less life. But I managed to taste a bit of the taugeh, its quite ok... but still got my goosebumps arise like a disease! But cut the taugeh crap, the teppanyaki was very nice. I enjoyed it very much. Babah was enjoy at first, but he did not enjoyed the paying part much. Hahah, what to do... thats a sweet lesson for him not to bet anymore. (he made a bet with my mom on Tennis Match 'Venus vs. Serena' and he lose)

Have u ever seen this much of taugeh to be cooked infront front of you before?!

My lunch

After lunch, got home and managed to squeeze some time for groceries shopping. =)

At 5pm I sped to The Curve to meet an old mate, Farah. My excitement level was on high and very much anticipated to meet her up after....5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13... 13 years of not seeing each other! OMG, time fly by like a speed of light. And it feels like yesterday when the last I spoke to her in 4 Intan twas upon a time. Having friendster and facebook as a medium of communication, I've never met any of my former SKTPians before in real life after I moved to Bukit Bandaraya. Thus to be frank, Farah is the SKTPian ever (besides Etty which coincidentally went to same high school, once upon a time coincidentally work at the same place and coincidentally lives in the same area now) I ever met so far. Farah is a good buddy and seriously nothing much change on her though it had been 13 years. She's still the same old bubbly as ever and her voice didnt seems to change at all. Hahahahhaha... omg, if she's a guy I have to bare with the husky vocal change... lucky for us woman, we dont have to go thru all that! Hahaha.

Accompanied by her sisters (so we had bunch of Farahs at the table.. haha) we've decided to have a meal at Ikea and talk and talk and talk and rendering the old moments. It feels so good to meet her back after all the years.

So... we were naughty to bring in outside beverage in the dining hall.

After meal I thought of joining the girls for another shot of Transformers 3 but the one seat next to the girls was taken, so I decided to depart from The Curve. And... I managed to lost my beloved digital camera. Funnily I wasnt so panic as I'm supposed too... I can still laugh when I found out my camera when missing from my bag. I have a strong feeling that I left my cam at Ikea's Dining Hall thus I marched myself to Ikea being que sera sera. And thank goodness, the camera was at the Information Counter. I have to say a high respect to the cleaner guy who found my camera as he was honest to pass my camera to the Information Counter, if other people found that camera.. who knows the camera will just gone like that. Highest respect ever, I love you Ikea! (yes, u can tell that I'm very happy alright.. the camera is like half of my soul owhkay!)

On my way to the parking lot, suddenly an idea just popped out of my head. Remembering Ashraf who had been messaging me for the whole afternoon, so I thought... its a good idea ask him out to have a little meet up before he get busy off to overseas end of this month and so on. So here we go extend our lepak at Kedai Kopi at 10pm. I can conclude, Ashraf is among the best buddy I have (besides Asna) so far in my former high school in Shah Alam. Its good to see he finally do what he love most now and I'm all happy for him. To me, sometimes a human being's achievement is not been measured by how much money he earned or how top he is at the moment. To work for something that brings self-satisfactory and happiness is consider an achievement to me. At least he's happy with his work though the degree he took didnt serves up his current job. Better than he feels like dragging himself to job every single day and being a single depress homosapien on a planet, where's the life to that? Its always a good time with Ashraf too. =)

Omg, Ashraf is all skinny now!

Have I told you I bought new perfume? Seriously I cannot resist Miss Dior Cherie L'eau. Just... have... to... grab... it...!!!!

Today had been an awesome day! =)