I had 'that' talk with my mom again yesterday. My mom adviced not to fall on 'that' kind of man.

My life is like an odd ball. I dont know why these days this thing kept linger in my head. Its like the potential of my life will be either one:

  1. Aku jadi andartu
  2. I fail my marriage

Scary, somehow I dont fantasize on happy ever after ending. Perhaps the reality that lies around me is not so happy ending like what teenage girls always dream on. My mom had warned me about her bestie's life, Ita.

She have 4 kids, quite successful woman. But his husband does not work. So I asked why his husband is not working? Well.. previously his husband did work with some kind devoloper company, but after for quite some time... he decided to not to work anymore. And I've met this man before, his not old owhkay! So left Ita alone who hv to work on her own to maintain the life for her kids, her husband and his husband's family. Yes, the in-laws. Ita owned an apartment that is fully furnished but the husband insist to live with his family in BB. Then later the husband treats her shitty, perhaps he thought he's still great - forgotting that the homosapien who brings the food to the table is his wife - alone. After few years of feeling deceived and used, Ita thought enough is enough. Furthermore the husband always joke around on giving a talak. What the hell is wrong with that guy? Ita packed her bags and out of the house. She's now a free woman.

This is indeed scary. I need to find for a guy who I can feel secure, who willing to take care of me sincerely, who can be with me until my last breathed. Worlds these days proposed that its hard to get these kind of gentlemen with such exquisite qualities.

My mom said I must start to socialize from now on so I can find my 'missing' puzzle. Perhaps there is a guy somewhere in this world who is looking for me as well. Sigh... my mom always gives hilarious quotes these days.