View From My Open Window

-adapted from Cosmopolitan June 2007 which I took from a clinic I went recently-


1. Movies Any kind of lock can be picked with a credit card or hairgrip.
Reality Ha! Just try it on your front door next time you lose your handbag during a night out.


2. Movies First-time sex is slow, sensuous and completely magical.
Reality First-time sex is drunken, a little bit bumpy and often not that good, really.


3. Movies Men's shirts get wet and have to be removed in women's home.
Reality We live in one of the wettest countries in the world, yet this never happens.


4. Movies Your boss is a smooth-talking lady-killer.
Reality He's more Hugh Hefner than Hugh Grant. Heh.


5. Movies You can work in a city, yet live in a thatched cottage (like Kate Winslet in The Holiday)
Reality Our homes look more like something from the set of Shameless (unless if u hv a maid, then there's a possibility to be otherwise).


6. Movies Convertible cars are glamourous.
Reality They make you look like you've been caught in an industrial wind tunnel.



7. Movies The hot bartender has time to give love-life advice while flipping bottles in the air.
Reality Our not-hot bartender ignores us for ages, then barely grunts as he serves us.



8. Movies Men make women reach orgasm with the use of a single flower (40 Days And 40 Nights)
Reality If the flower vibrated, then maybe.... (hahaha..!!!)



9. Movies You bump into a record-label tycoon while singing to yourself on a train.
Reality You bump into a guy on a train who has yet to discover deodorant.



10.Movies Your misjudge that sexy, yet arrogant guy. He reveals he's suffered a tragic loss and becomes your dream man.
Reality You were right. He's a moron.